We’ve witnessed the rising of the Divine Feminine energy over the last 150 years. Women have the vote, they have shattered glass ceilings and led countries. In the process of rebalancing the overpowering male patriarchy of the last few thousand years, women have had to collectively build strength and power into their expression. Empowered 21st century woman can have it all – a career and a family.
As empowered as we become, it is important to remember how powerful the feminine energy of nurturance is. Society is being called on to recognize and collectively remember, the nourishing power of love that is so much a part of motherhood. Kola is the remedy for these times and is extremely relevant, especially when, as a society, we are having conversations about such subjects as children arriving at school without the basic sustenance of breakfast.
Coffee, Chocolate and Kola
Kola is a member of the Malvaceae family of plants, keeping good company with fellow members, coffee, chocolate and the hibiscus flower. It was the original substance used to flavor Coca-cola. In homeopathy the overarching theme of this entire plant family is the nurturing love of the mother.
The overarching theme of this entire plant family is the nurturing love of the mother.If we have experienced this love it is the proverbial soft place to fall. A mother’s love is all encompassing and nurturing. It is the feeling of arms around you, keeping you safe and holding you. When you are held in a mother’s arms then you can relax in the warmth and safety of her love and trustingly receive nourishment and nurturance. If we have had this experience then this translates to having healthy relationships not only with others but most importantly, with ourselves. We learn how to keep ourselves nourished and in turn are able to partake in healthy relationships with friends and partners. We are able to experience the intimacy of love within a healthy relationship that has the correct boundaries in place. It is the unhealthy woman who gives too much of herself without stopping to take care of herself first and foremost.
When you have not experienced the full vibration of a mother’s love then the world is not so safe. There is no feeling of protection, which leaves a vulnerability inside. This can manifest in anxiety, and also irritability that is often directed at their own children. A person who needs Kola will often create unhealthy relationships as they seek that love and nourishment externally.
They can do this by being overly generous and caring, hoping unconsciously to receive in return the love and nurturing that they crave.
A person who needs Kola will often create unhealthy relationships as they seek that love and nourishment externallyWhen this doesn’t happen, then they can be very hurt and rejected, not realizing that others cannot give them the nourishment that they need to be able to give themselves. If our own mothers did not experience the complete nurturing energy of divine motherhood, as it should be, then they could not, in turn, give it to us.
Kola And Our Hormones
In homeopathy, there are two main polycrest remedies used for female hormonal states. They are Sepia and Pulsatilla. When a new homeopath does a case analysis for an irritable, tired, weepy, hormonal woman then these two remedies will come out on top. However, in the early years of my practice I had several cases where these two polycrests failed to act as deeply and effectively as I expected them to in my clients. Yet, I could have sworn that they were great prescriptions. What I have learnt now, is that when Sepia and Pulsatilla are indicated in a case analysis then the lesser known remedy, Kola, can be considered in the process of arriving at the prescription. There are some key indicators that I have learnt about Kola and I will go through them below but first I want to talk briefly about chocolate and coffee and their place in this family theme so that you can understand the fuller picture of Kola as it has aspects of these remedies since they are in the same plant family.
The Malvaceae family of plants contain fats that are similar in composition to the fats in breastmilk. What greater nurturance is there than the safety and satiety of a newborn falling drunk off the breast? Note that I used the word drunk. We will come back to that later. In homeopathy, the remedy made from chocolate is all about connection or disconnection. Do you feel connected to others or do you feel disconnected. How many woman pull out the chocolate bar just before their menstrual flow and comfort themselves with some soothing chocolate, filling that disconnected gap within themselves? There is a reason we give chocolate on Valentine’s Day. Kola being in the same family also has some of this essence within the remedy, the desire for the nurturance that we get from connecting in relationship.
Soothing To The Nerves
Coffee, although in the same family, is a wee bit different. We all know what happens when you have too many cups in one day. There can be trembling and oversensitivity of the nervous system as you have an adrenalin surge and charge through your task list on high speed. However, afterwards you can be left exhausted and sleepy, not to mention grumpy. Kola, again, has some of the sensitivity in the nervous system as they do not have the experience that the world is quite so safe and are often busy, productive people as well as doing much for others so there is not much left in their day for things to go wrong. In a Kola mother, they often can’t tolerate the small things that their children do, that causes a hiccup in the easy flow of their day and the result is great irritability as they try and squeeze in the extra work into their day. People who need Kola may adore or dislike coffee. If they dislike it, it is because their hyped up nervous system cannot tolerate the extra stimulation. If they love their coffee, it is because it works herbally for them. As soon as they take a sip, they feel their body relax and with a clarity of mind they can get through their day.
In my clinic I have used this remedy when the desire for alcohol has increased. Remember my reference to the drunk satiety of a newborn falling off the breast? We all know the mothers who just need to crack open that bottle of wine at the end of the day to take the edge off. When I have asked what the feeling is when they take a sip of alcohol, they often tell me it’s a feeling of relaxation similar to what one might feel if they were in their mother’s arms. Kola is one of the remedies that we use to help reduce the desire for alcohol. How prevalent is the desire for these 3 substances…alcohol, coffee and chocolate? Billion dollar industries have been created around these 3 stimulants when a good portion of the people using these substances may be trying to gain the feeling of safety and relaxation in the world that they missed out on by a distant mother.
Kola is used when there is a history of being cut off from the mother’s nurturing. I’ve used it successfully in cases where the client’s history ranges from being adopted, to not being breastfed as a child right through to when mum has been present but distant. There may have been a lack of affection and warmth in the relationship. A client needing Kola may be irritable with their children when they don’t want to be and after taking the remedy they find they are able to go with the flow and not be triggered by small events that throw their busy day into chaos. In short, they can hold within themselves more of the loving, nurturing vibration of motherhood and display that to their own children.
Physically, Kola has helped my clients with a varied list of physical symptoms. It has repaired lower back pain and stiffness across the lumbar region in some of my clients. Old pains from shoulder injuries and knee injuries from years past have improved. I have used it successfully for a case of coldsores and neuralgic pain down the right side of the body reminiscent of shingles.
Where I find Kola is a hidden gem is that it can help to balance the hormonal system of woman. It has eased heavy periods and reduced pre menstrual tension beforehand. This remedy is also used for obesity or difficult weight that is hard to shift. In one of my cases, a women in her early forties who was frustrated that her weight just kept increasing, no matter how she adjusted her diet and lifestyle, found that during taking the remedy her weight stopped increasing and then a few months later it began to reduce with very little difference in her eating habits. There is a case in one of my books where Kola has eased elevated blood sugar levels and diabetes in a subject, so it stands to reason it may help insulin resistance in peri-menopausal women.
After taking the remedy Kola, women feel more relaxed and able to cope with the day’s stressors. They are less irritable and able to instill better boundaries on their generosity and kindness as they learn to give nourishment and sustenance to themselves instead of seeking it externally. Once they experience this nurturing vibration of divine motherhood, then they are in a better position to be able to express it towards their own children and within the intimacy of love relationships. Women hold a unique role in society that needs to be recognized by ourselves firstly. Nothing beats being held safely in a mother’s arms. Knowing how important the correct emotional nourishment is in setting up children for life so they are less anxious and can form wonderful relationships with themselves and others is really important to understand, so that it can be acknowledged and valued in such a way that our society has a chance to move towards health and wholeness and not to degeneration and violence.